Cameron Diaz is Your Ultimate Sexy Teacher Wet Dream, Plus More Movie Trailers

In this week’s Trailer Park, the marketing team behind Bailey’s scores a major win in the product-placement department with White Irish Drinkers, Cameron Diaz shows us how to make child abuse work for you! in Bad Teacher, Paul Giamatti grapples with life-changing decisions and teenage boys alike in Win Win and the woman who directed Twilight brings us Twilight For Post-Preteens in Red Riding Hood. Check out the trailers below in your weekly Trailer Park and then decide to stay at home and watch another rerun of Private Parts, sure, we can’t blame you.

White Irish Drinkers
Nick Thurston, Geoff Wigdor, Leslie Murphy

Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, here’s a film so chock-full of Irish family drama it makes Shameless look like Two and a Half Men. Two brothers get into some sort of criminal activity and after their family bonds are tested, through a lot of soul-searching and a whole lot of White Irish drinking, they rediscover what it means to be family. Presumedly? That could actually be the opposite of what this is about. But you get the point. They’re white irish drinkers. This film could be the biggest boon for sales of that drink since The Big Lebowski. Unless that’s just some sort of metaphor in the film that made for a good title and they don’t drink those in it at all. So, whatever, you’re weird, Hollywood.

Red Riding Hood
Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Billy Burke

Alright, it’s basically Twilight, but with Little Red Riding Hood instead of Bella? Cool, gotcha.

Win Win
Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Bobby Cannavale

Well, this looks kind of funny (Paul Giamatti!) and kind of cutesy-indieish and maybe even a little touching, perhaps? It’s the story of a middle-aged man (Paul Giamatti!) going through something of a mid-life crisis, and the boy who abandoned his druggie mom to wind up on his doorstep. Paul coaches wrestling, and wow, can this kid wrestle. “He’s got man-strength,” one of Paul’s associates says (somewhat creepily,) as they click glasses to the kid’s potential. Then his mom shows up. “The kid hates his mom more than I hate my ex-wife,” the same associate says, which is, I’m guessing, a lot. Lots of potential, here! Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth Sr.!) is in this, too, as well as Amy Ryan, so maybe see this instead of putting your money on Twilight with wolves instead of vampires? Eh?

Bad Teacher
Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jason Segel
(NSFW, use headphones)

Cameron Diaz plays a rogue don’t-give-a-shit public school teacher with a mouth like a sailor, and the result is comedy gold. This could be one of the strongest comedies of the year from the looks of the trailer, which is saying a lot, considering the upcoming Hangover 2. But give Diaz a character ten times as foul-mouthed as the Hangover bros combined (and 50 times sexier) and, well, you get a really strong comedic female lead. Remember Baby Mama? Good comedies with female leads are rarer than you think (key word being good.) Between this and Bridesmaids, we could be seeing a much-needed return to form.