Weekly Release: Beyoncé, An Album Cover We Can’t Show You, Unwanted Nostalgia and More

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What an exciting week for new music. A new Beyoncé album? You don’t see that every week, do you? Every few months, maybe, but certainly not every week. This also marks the first time since we’ve been keeping track (just now) that we’ve ever been unable to show you an album cover for something included in Weekly Release. We don’t want to give away the surprise, but it’s got boobs on it.

Like we said, pretty exciting stuff. There’s also something awful, but we’ll talk much more about that later in the day. As for now, here is your Weekly Release for the last week of June, 2011.

Handsome Furs – Sound Kapital

After watching the above video, it should come as no surprise that this is the band with the naughty album cover in the beginning of this article. Even this video, which is just a still image of a masked man standing behind a leather clad woman, will probably draw you a few funny looks if someone peeks over your shoulder in your cubicle.

As for the album cover, we can’t show it, but it is beautiful. Google it.

But all of this talk about dirty album covers distracts from one pretty important point — there’s a new Handsome Furs album out today. They’re the shit. You should buy it.

Curren$y – Weekend At Burnies

Ha! Weekend at BURNies. Get it?!?!? It sounds like a movie title, but it’s different, because it’s “BURNies.” You know, because Curren$y probably smokes a lot of weed. It’s less likely that he died months ago and is just being propped up by greedy record company execs to keep the money train rolling, but that would be pretty funny stuff.

Selena Gomez and The Scene – When the Sun Goes Down

Look, there’s really nothing wrong with the fact that we kind of like this song. It’s called “I Love You Like a Love Song.” That title is corny as shit, but it works. The song is pretty catchy for what it is, which is probably a song that two Swedish dudes were paid a couple million dollars to write after running a few keywords and tidbits of market research results through the software they developed that tells them exactly what tweens want to listen to at any given moment. Is that a compliment? Yeah, maybe it is. We were all tweens once.

That said, there’s no doubt that Selena Gomez is cute as a button and legal in all 50 states, but there’s still something about her look that’s a little too young to make us feel at all comfortable with going on at length about how well she’s aged. Probably because we really would have used the phrase “how well she’s aged” about an 18-year-old and that’s ludicrous. Dating Justin Bieber doesn’t help either. Call us when there’s a new Demi Lovato album to talk about though.

Beyoncé – 4

What? A new Beyoncé album? How important is that? Important enough that we always hit that accent in Beyoncé when we type it in an article, but when we send a résumé we call it a resume even though that automatically makes us look a little less intelligent. But those accent marks are a lot of work. They aren’t worth the work in every situation. But when we’re talking about a new Beyoncé album, it’s a few additional keystrokes we take out of pure respect for one of the greatest artists of her generation.

This album is kind of ass though. Or maybe we’re just expecting too much after the experimental nature of I Am…Sasha Fierce and need to give 4 a few more listens to let it grow on us.

If you hate the fact that you just read the previous paragraph, you’ll be even less pleased to know we didn’t even Google any of the information found in said paragraph. We were writing from the heart. Seriously, she’s really good.

Limp Bizkit – Gold Cobra

We’re not happy about this. In this case, it’s a safe bet that “we” means “all of us.” Not all of us here at The Smoking Jacket. All of us in the world everywhere. Who decided it was time for this shit to come back? Certainly not anyone who lives in the same world we do. A world where the skeleton that is Limp Bizkit is buried deep in the closet, exactly where it belongs.

At any rate, we could talk about the ramifications of this comeback for another thousand words or so, but that would be overkill. But we totally have an entire article about the matter coming up later today.