Viral Outbreak: Idi Amin’s Machete Trained Chimps


Alright, this is getting a bit out of hand. We’ve been keeping tabs on the fascinating “Apes Are Getting Smarter” campaign that has been rolled out to promote the new film Rise of the Planet of the Apes and, so far, we’ve seen some pretty unsettling stuff.

The aim of the campaign is to educate the world on just how impressive apes can be when you guide them in the right direction. The right direction, of course, meaning hand them an AK-47. We’ve also seen chimps walking upright and playing video games. Not to mention the humiliating fact that they’re way better at this iPhone game than we are.

But this latest video is by far the creepiest of all. Apparently, back during his reign of terror, Idi Amin had chimps trained to use machetes. The idea was that they could do some of the jungle labor that comes with running a dictatorship, but they also learned to use those machetes to protect themselves.

And now, some of them picked up the skill so well that they’re training other chimps to wield machetes also. Great, that’s exactly what this world needs, machete wielding primates with the strength of ten men roaming the streets. Just kill us now. We’ll never survive a plague like that.