The holiday season is upon us. It’s that wonderful time of year for over indulgences: candy in October, turkey in November, Christmas ham in December, and we’ll wash it all down with gallons of booze to bring in January. But, nothing can ruin a festive holiday faster than a friend or relative choking to death on a wish-bone or some figgy pudding (unless said relative had deep pockets and thought of you in their will).

With basic CPR skills, you could become the Jack Bauer of your holiday gathering. Unfortunately, sitting through some long, boring class so that you can be the chosen one to go mouth-to-mouth with your chubby mustached aunt isn’t the most tempting offer. However, looking at pictures of strangers saving other peoples’ lives is borderline heroic (good for you). Here is the creepiest collection of CPR photos we could find on the internet.

Putting the “MAN” in Heimlich MANeuver.

Teddy will never hump Walter’s wife’s leg again.

Best Grandparents Day Ever!

“You can have his wallet, but I got dibs on his junk.”

“So, how bad do you really want to be a pilot?”

“I usually only like it doggy style.”

Leslie went through an experimental phase in college.

This is the 5th thong related accident this week.

“She only waited 29 minutes after eating!”

One of these two has a thing for bitches in tan.

Secondhand Smoke is a weekly column by Playboy Radio Morning Show host Kevin M. Klein. Follow Kevin on Twitter @TheKevinKlein.