With Catfish and The Social Network on everyone’s minds, we can’t help but notice the public’s demand for movies inspired by the Internet. Seriously, we spend all day and all night tethered to our laptops, so why not pay fourteen dollars to sit in a theater and watch movies about the things we do on them?
Since no one knows the Internet better than us trolls, we’ve put together pitches for flicks based on some of our favorite websites that we’d like to see on the big screen.
After learning that a map to his family’s treasure is sewn into the lining of a vintage cocktail dress, John Peterson realizes that he must do whatever it takes to win it in an eBay auction. His only problem? The auctioneer’s obsession with playing by the rules and a pretty college senior in rural Massachusetts with an online shopping addiction.
TYLER PERRY’S #YouKnowIt’sLoveWhen
When a mutual Internet friend recommends them both on Follow Friday, Megan Reid and Joseph Barnes begin communicating by Twitter’s direct messaging system. Enchanted by their witty banter, the two agree to fly cross country and meet under the St. Louis Arch, but John learns that Megan has been hiding a big secret from him—her baby. Will Megan’s deception prevent the two from moving forward with their feelings, or will this movie end like every other romantic comedy and they’ll reach a resolution and kiss IRL in the final scene?
Like Morgan Spurlock’s Super-Size Me, budding filmmaker Les Parker decides that for one month, he will spend every waking moment on Chat Roulette. Hoping to discover what the appeal of interacting, or even just masturbating, with strangers from across the world is, Les learns that this isn’t only a mental challenge, but physical. Over the month his muscle mass decreases rapidly and he develops severe carpal tunnel in both of his hands. From typing, obviously.
THE MAYORS OF PALO ALTO
Rookie Palo Alto detectives, Trey Buchanan and Greg Stacks, are put to the ultimate test when a serial killer begins picking his female victims with the popular new iPhone app, Foursquare. After tracing all of the women involved back to the same frozen yogurt shop, the detectives go undercover as smartphone-wielding pilates junkies in an attempt to catch the perp.
THE WAY THE COOKIE TUMBLS
Twenty-something Tumblr blogger Cookie Brennan is living in New York and trying to find love, but her impulse to update the world on her doings keeps getting the way of her forming relationships offline. While Cookie’s rabid fan base seems to turn on her every time she steps away from the computer, none of her suitors are interested in having their
lives put on blast. Things get tough for Cookie when she meets her perfect man… who just so happens to be a C.I.A. agent.