The title of this article might sound crazy, but there are plenty of things you could do in a YouTube video that would be worthy of a lengthy stint in prison, like abusing animals or vandalizing property or professing your love for Nickelback. All of those acts are morally reprehensible and committing them to video is just begging for jail time. But this isn’t that kind of YouTube video.
A Michigan man named Evan Emory is facing 20 years in prison after posting a video featuring him singing a sexually explicit song to a group of school children in their classroom. That certainly sounds scandalous enough, especially after you have a look at some of the lyrics…
“See how long it takes to make your panties mine”
“I’ll add some foreplay in just to make it fun”
“I want you to suck on my testes until I spurt in your face”
“I’ll lick on your chewie”
“I want to stick my index finger in your anus”
“I’ll be the bus riding your ass up and down my town”
“I’m gonna use my sausage to make fettucine, then for dessert have a Harry Houdini”
Yikes! It’s easy to see why charges might be filed against a person who pulled a stunt like that. But here’s the rub, Emory didn’t actually sing those lyrics to the kids in the video. The video is just the result of some crafty editing work.
Evan Emory did, in fact, sing for a group of assembled kids, but he sang a perfectly harmless kids song which, by all accounts, the kids loved. It wasn’t until later that, as a joke, he edited the video to make it look like he was singing the sexually explicit lyrics.
As you would expect, school administrators weren’t amused after word of the explicit video got back to them. Even less impressed was Muskegon County Prosecutor Tony Tague, who had Evan Emory arrested and charged with manufacturing child sexual abusive material. The felony charge carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.
Before we go any further, let us go on record as saying that what Evan Emory did was indeed a horrible idea and an incredible display of poor taste and judgement. That said, it’s hardly an act worthy of a 20-year prison sentence, especially when you consider that it took place in Michigan. Call us crazy, but Michigan strikes us as a state with bigger fish to fry than making sure a 21-year-old YouTube jokester rots for what amounts to a bad joke. They do realize Detroit is in Michigan, right? How about spending some cash to build that rusty heap of scrap metal up a bit instead of wasting it on frivolous prosecutions like this?
We’re not the only ones who feel this is all a bit ridiculous. There’s even a “Free Evan Emory” Facebook page dedicated to the case. Click here to check it out. And for the record, we didn’t post the video because, naturally, it’s been pulled from YouTube.