Caleb Lloyd vs. Dwight Howard

MAN CRUSH OF THE WEEK: CALEB LLOYD

Usually the Man Crush honor is reserved for professional athletes or mysterious sportswriters. But this week the honor goes to a guy who could be you or I.

When going to a baseball game, there are a couple things fans usually hope for. To see a perfect game. To sneak down into awesome seats without getting caught. To have your friend buy you beers. And to catch a baseball.

So 20-year-old Caleb Lloyd goes to a Reds game with his buddy and they’re in the outfield. Along comes Mike Leake – a pitcher, no less – and he hits a home run right to Caleb. Pretty good day for Leake and Lloyd. But it was Leake first home run ever so Caleb, despite just doing something millions of people dream about, is apparently the coolest dude ever and is all like, ‘That’s cool, I’ll give him the ball.’

So the next batter is Zack Cozart. And he hits another home run. And it goes right to Caleb again. Catching one home run is super rare. Catch two on consecutive batters is essentially impossible. I mean, has it every happened before? Almost certainly no.

But as I mentioned earlier, Caleb is an awesome dude, so he gives the ball to his buddy who took him to the game. While I personally cringed at hearing that after wanting to catch a ball my entire life, he solidified himself as the best Caleb ever. And as this week’s Man Crush.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DWIGHT HOWARD

Since noted douche Dwight Howard got all pissy about his coach and GM, Orlando went out and fired both of them as a way to pacify Dwight. Even though he’s almost certainly still leaving Orlando.

So somehow Shaq is getting mentioned for the GM job of the Orlando Magic. There’s a couple problems with this. First, Shaq isn’t really good at stuff other than big bigger than everyone else and putting a basketball in a hoop from a very short distance.

And secondly, the residents of Orlando pretty much universally hate Shaq since he left the city for dead on really bad terms, which should sound very similar to what another large Orlando resident who was bad at taking unguarded shots and tried to steal the Superman theme is doing.

But apparently Shaq and Dwight send each other texts sometimes so the Magic are hoping this is all it will take to please Dwight into staying with the team. It would be sort of like if John Lennon was going to leave the Beatles so they decided to replace George Martin with Andy Warhol because they met once (also, this is actually an amazing idea).

I understand that the Magic want to keep Dwight since they would be super horrible without him. They’re essentially letting him run the team. They might as well go ahead and make Dwight the GM so he can trade himself to Brooklyn.

While I have a hard time feeling any sympathy for the greater Orlando area, I have even less sympathy for Dwight Howard being all upset that his coach and GM were meanies.

 

Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Man Crush vs. Douchebag: Chris Bosh vs. Brett Lawrie 
Man Crush vs. Douchebag: Sterling Moore vs. Everybody Else

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