Beauty vs. The Beast – Fantasy Football Tournament – Week 4

Editor’s Note: The Smoking Jacket’s intern Jake likes to run his mouth about his Fantasy Football prowess here in the office. We thought we’d give him the chance to fall flat on his face and be embarrassed by two of the hottest fantasy football players in the world and hosts of Fantasy Fantasy Football on Sirius Playboy Radio: Pilar Lastra and Deanna Brooks. Every Friday we’ll post how each team fared the week before (with standard ESPN scoring) and list the rosters for the following Sunday. Players will be selected in a draft prior to that week’s games. Trash talking is definitely expected and highly encouraged.

Before going into my weekly rant on why I keep losing to girls, let me just announce that we’re raising the stakes of Beauty vs. The Beast and I absolutely HAVE to win this week for the betterment of mankind (teaser: make sure to watch Pilar’s video below).

After yet another defeat in this fickle game we call fantasy football, I’m here today to talk about why I’m now 0-3 vs. Deanna and Pilar. There’s a bevy of reasons for my losses, with the most recent being that the girls got last week’s first pick and took the obvious choice of Adrian Peterson against the terrible Lions defense. You want excuses for the first two embarrassments? Cause I’ve got ‘em. Let’s see—there were Jewish holidays, lunch breaks, horrendous preseason rankings by Matthew Berry, and Chris Johnson’s stinker in week 2 against the Steelers.

For this latest debacle, I’d also like to blame Eagles coach Andy Reid, who refused to give the ball more to running back LeSean McCoy even with his team up 21-3 and ‘Shady’ sporting a robust 6.1 yards per carry on the season. Fuck the West Coast Offense. Anyway, onto the week 3 scoreboard:

Jake the Intern’s complete Week 3 lineup:
QB: Drew Brees 22 pts
RB: LeSean McCoy 5 pts
RB: Frank Gore 14 pts
WR: Roddy White 12 pts
WR: DeSean Jackson 21 pts
TE: Visanthe Shiancoe 0 pts
Defense: San Francisco 49ers -2 pts

Kicker: Ryan Longwell 6 pts

Total: 78 pts

Pilar and Deanna’s complete Week 3 lineup:
QB: Donovan McNabb 13 pts
RB: Adrian Peterson 31 pts
RB: Pierre Thomas 9 pts
WR: Miles Austin 2 pts
WR: Santana Moss 16 pts
TE: Jermichael Finley 11 pts
Defense: Washington Redskins 3 pts

Kicker: Robbie Gould 7 pts

Total: 92 pts

I feel comfortable guaranteeing a victory with reigning MVP Peyton Manning under center. He’s only off to the best start of his career and at this point it’d be unfathomable for him not to throw for at least 300 yards and 2 TDs against the Jaguars.

Michael ‘The Workhorse’ Turner is back after his 30 carry performance last week that shredded the Saints defense. I’m also taking surprise stud Darren McFadden, who has dominated on the ground so far for the Raiders. The production may be coming a few years later than expected, but ‘Run DMC’ is ready for prime time.

Here’s what Pilar had to say about next week’s bet and beating me for the third straight time:

At quarterback we’re taking Aaron Rodgers against Detroit’s defense…need I say more?

By now you know how much we love Texans running back Arian Foster, and after a good game last week, we’re not turning our backs on him now.

This is probably a huge surprise, but we like Bills receiver Roscoe Parrish. Without stud CB Darrelle Revis, the Jets haven’t been able to stop opposing wideouts.

There you have it. With a loss, I’ll be doing a dramatic reading from Twilight. But with the girls’ selection of Roscoe Parrish, I’m pretty sure we’ll end up with a really entertaining video from losers Deanna and Pilar next Friday. Take a look at the complete week 4 lineups:

Jake the Intern’s complete Week 4 lineup:
QB: Peyton Manning
RB: Michael Turner
RB: Darren McFadden
WR: Randy Moss
WR: Reggie Wayne
TE: Antonio Gates
Defense: New York Jets
Kicker: Mason Crosby
Pilar and Deanna’s complete Week 4 lineup:
QB: Aaron Rodgers
RB: Chris Johnson
RB: Arian Foster
WR: Austin Collie
WR: Roscoe Parrish
TE: Jermichael Finley
Defense: Green Bay Packers
Kicker: Robbie Gould