Editor’s Note: The Smoking Jacket’s intern Jake likes to run his mouth about his Fantasy Football prowess here in the office. We thought we’d give him the chance to fall flat on his face and be embarrassed by two of the hottest fantasy football players in the world and hosts of Fantasy Fantasy Football on Sirius Playboy Radio: Pilar Lastra and Deanna Brooks. Every Friday we’ll post how each team fared the week before (with standard ESPN scoring) and list the rosters for the following Sunday. Players will be selected in a draft prior to that week’s games. Trash talking is definitely expected and highly encouraged.

Beauty vs. The Beast week 1 didn’t exactly go as planned. It turns out, even the sun shines on hot girls’ asses every once and a while.  Deanna and Pilar dished out a serious beating that’s still reverberating throughout TSJ headquarters. The good news is that there’s plenty of time to regain my dignity and respect. Revenge will come soon, and it will be glorious.

Let’s break down last week’s complete debacle, won by the girls 99-41 (yep, you’re reading that score correctly). Hey, Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson—can you guys let me know in advance the next time the Texans plan on throwing the ball only 17 times? mmmmkkkkk…Thanks. Onto the scoreboard:

Anyway, let’s discuss the picks for week 2.

Tony Romo will be suiting up as my quarterback. He’s got to be pissed about that pathetic performance against the Redskins and will be feasting on the sub par Bears secondary.

If we’ve learned anything NFL-related over the past year, it’s to never bet against Chris Johnson. Even though the stud Titans running back is facing a stout Pittsburgh front seven, he still should be able to put up good numbers, and you can always expect at least one big play from this guy.

Falcons receiver Roddy White was targeted early and often in Atlanta’s opener against the Steelers. I like his matchup Sunday at home vs. Arizona.

Meanwhile, back on the West Coast this week, Deanna sported a Bengals jersey and was in full-on nap mode to show just how relaxed she is about kicking my ass for the rest of the season. Here’s what she had to say:

Our quarterback is San Diego’s Philip Rivers, who is coming off a worse heartbreak than John Mayer before his ‘Heartbreak Warfare’ Tour. Look for Rivers to be recharged and ready to dominate last year’s worst ranked pass defense in Jacksonville.

We’ve also got a good feeling about Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles against the weak Cleveland defense (plus, as a Bengals fan, I have to root against the Browns).

At receiver, Romeo has no choice but to get the ball to Juliet, I mean Miles Austin, this week in Dallas.

The complete lineups heading into week 2:

Don’t forget, starting next week, Pilar and Deanna’s show will air on Playboy Radio on Wednesdays at 6 p.m. EST. The girls are partaking in a weekly Fantasy Four Play, where a caller competes against them for various prizes and bragging rights. Call in for your chance to win!