Beauty vs. The Beast – Fantasy Football Tournament – Week 13

I thought playmates Pilar Lastra and Deanna Brooks were kicking ass earlier in the season, but the past two weeks they’ve administered some serious, back of the woods, 7-Eleven street corner type smack downs.  The latest victim was Brandon, editor of BroBible.com, who got steamrolled in week 12.

Our new challenger is Erik, a rabid fan/borderline stalker who repeatedly emailed the TSJ brass touting his fantasy football skills until we finally decided to let him go up against the girls. Erik sent us this rambling, borderline incoherent trash talk, and if you scroll to the bottom, it’s clear that he has some sort of bizarre pigskin fetish. Regardless, we love our fans, so keep up the good work my friend.

Ladies (as well as Deanna and Pilar),

Sorry to tell you this but your fun has come to an end. For the first time all season you will actually be facing someone who knows what a Football really is – unlike the last 12 weeks when you “competed” against guys who think a Quarterback is what you get when you hand someone $1 for something that costs 75 cents . 10-2 is impressive but not when it’s against guys who make the Carolina Panthers seem like the Atlanta Falcons (In case you aren’t aware of it – Carolina has the worst record in the NFL and the Falcons have the best).

You ladies know NOTHING about the NFL, and how can you? Pilar is from San Antonio (GO Lakers!! – Derek Fisher and I have a lot in common – BOTH of us only need 0.4 seconds to beat you), where they don’t have an NFL team and Deanna is from the Cincinnati area where there’s also no REAL  team.

This week when you do your picks on Deanna’s bed, do it from UNDER the covers because after I HUMILIATE you two this week you won’t want to be seen. If you make the picks under a blanket you can claim someone else made your awful picks. Although if you make them while flat on your backs, looking up at the sky wondering “WTF Happened?” it will get you ready for when the week is over and you will be doing the same thing. My real fantasy football team needs to win this week to make the playoffs. I only wish my opponent was as easy to beat as the two of you. Christmas comes about four weeks early for me as I happily accept the gift you are giving me of an EASY win in this competition.

I am sooooooooooooooo confident I will beat you that if I lose I’ll happily to come into the Playboy Radio studio on Wednesday, December 15 for your Fantasy Football Radio show and have you toss Footballs against my bare butt! Although if you toss a football like you pick players I will have nothing to worry about.

Jake, get the Kleenex ready for their crying because for only the 3rd time this year Deanna and Pilar will need tissue for something other than stuffing their bra.

Your WORST Nightmare,

Erik (w/a K!)

Let’s get right to the picks and last week’s results:

Pilar and Deanna’s Week 13 lineup:

QB: Aaron Rodgers
RB: Mike Tolbert
RB: Matt Forte
WR: Roddy White
WR: Dwayne Bowe
TE: Antonio Gates
Defense: San Diego
Kicker:  Dan Carpenter

Super fan Erik’s Week 13 lineup:

QB: Matt Cassel
RB: Maurice Jones-Drew
RB: Michael Turner
WR: Greg Jennings
WR: Brandon Lloyd
TE: Jacob Tamme
Defense: Da Bears
K: Josh Brown

BroBible Brandon’s Week 12 results:

QB: Phillip Rivers 7
RB: Arian Foster 21
RB: Frank Gore 5
WR: Clavin Johnson 15
WR: Roddy White 4
TE: Jacob Tamme 12
Defense: Eagles 0
Kicker: David Akers 15
TOTAL: 79

Pilar and Deanna’s Week 12 results:

QB: Matt Schaub 15
RB: Mike Goodson 19
RB: Adrain Peterson 12
WR: Santonio Holmes 10
WR: Dwayne Bowe 35
TE: Joel Dreesen 7
Defense: Steelers 7
Kicker:  Robbie Gould 7
TOTAL: 112

Listen to the Fantasy Fantasy Show with Pilar Lastra, Deanna Brooks and Scott Huff on Sirius XM 99 Wednesdays from 3-4 p.m. PDT.  Call in live to the show at 877-205-9796.

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