Ballbreaker: Phuong Nguyen

We ask a sexy babe what pisses her off. Today’s Ballbreaker: Phuong Nguyen

OVER-SHAVE

Men, I love your body. I love your muscles. I love your abs, and I love a little manly hair. I understand that some of you have a little extra or maybe you think we’ll see your muscles better without it, but please. I mean, I’m all for a little manscaping, but nobody wants to get cuddly with a man only to be stabbed by the stubble on his chest. Ouch! It’s gross, and, just like that, I’m not in the mood anymore. I’ve also run into guys who shave their their legs and arms. Now that’s just weird. I’m a model and part of my job is to look good in a bikini—if you shave more places than I do, I question your masculinity.

SELF-PORTRAIT WITH CHISELED ABS

I like pictures. I like taking them, and I like seeing pictures of you. But guys—these pictures you take of yourself with your shirt off scream one word: Douchebag! Stop posting them to your Facebook page, and please stop sending them to me. It won’t lead to any nookie. I actually have a no-douchebag policy when it comes to nookie, believe it or not. Please stop.

SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT

It’s a good thing I spent all night getting my makeup and hair perfect and putting on a sexy outfit. Oh wait, you can’t see me because you’re wearing your sunglasses. Did you just have Lasik surgery? No, you just think it’s cool. Corey Hart wrote a hit song about it 26 years ago, and you know what? It wasn’t cool then.

SMOKING

People still smoke? Most of the world has moved on, but for some reason, there are a few idiots left. No matter how cool you think it looks, let me tell you about three things that are not: 1. Cancer. Actually when it comes to cancer it’s not that you’re “not cool,” it’s more like you’re “not alive.” 2. Talking through a voicebox. It’s handy when Daft Punk is playing, but otherwise it’s dorky. 3. Wasting money you could spending on something better. Like, me! My man doesn’t have to be filthy rich, but if you’re taking me to the Olive Garden while feeding a two-pack-a-day smoking habit, this is a problem the neverending pasta bowl cannot fix. By the way, you smell, and so do your clothes, and so does your breath. Disgusting. Quit!

Keep up with Phuong at PhuongOnline.com, on MySpace and Facebook, and at Twitter.com/Phuongtourage.

DISCLAIMER: Ballbreaker contributors are in reality lovely, sweet girls who are cranking up the attitude for entertainment purposes only, at the request of The Smoking Jacket.