Five Celebrities Who Should Find a Chauffeur

T.I. arrestedIt seems like trouble just follows some people everywhere they go. Take T.I., for example, pictured here looking hella arrestable. After an associate of his was gunned down, the rapper started receiving death threats and reacted in the only rational way possible…he bought a shit load of guns.

Fine, we guess that’s one way to handle it, but did he need to take those guns to the BET Awards? Probably not, but it wouldn’t have mattered. An informant ratted him out to police so he was going to be arrested at some point anyway. That all led to a year in prison, a sentence that would have been much longer had it not been for the fact that he agreed to do an MTV reality show where he attempted to help troubled teens turn their lives around. He later did his jail time like a champ and is set to release a new album later this month.

And now after all that ruckus, dude goes and gets arrested for possession of a controlled substance after the car he was traveling in was pulled over in Los Angeles, and police discovered that it reeked of marijuana. For fuck’s sake, smoke the weed at home. Or at the hotel. Or in the goddamn parking lot, whatever, just not in the car.

But to his credit, at least he wasn’t driving at the time. That’s more than we can say for these five celebs who could have avoided all sorts of legal drama by spending a little cash to pay someone to drive them around.

5 George Michael

George Michael Arrested

George Michael is no stranger to legal trouble, what with the public bathroom incidents and the passing out in running automobiles and such. But it looks like he’s yet to learn the valuable lesson that getting smashed and tooling around in your whip is a bad idea.

Over the Fourth of July weekend this year, Michael was arrested for reckless driving and suspicion of operating a motor vehicle under the influence after he just straight drove his shit right into a building. You know how you avoid drunk driving your car into a building? You get someone to drive for you.

As baffling as his desire to drive around hammered is, there is an even bigger question we have about this incident. What the hell is there to celebrate about in England on the Fourth of July?

4 Faith Evans

Faith Evans arrested

R&B singer, former Mrs. Notorious B.I.G. and on again/off again hot piece-of-ass Faith Evans was famously arrested back in 2004 for possession of a controlled substance after her Hummer H3 was stopped by Georgia police. Evans and her husband, some random music guy whose name we aren’t going to bother Googling, both spent 13 weeks in rehab as a result of the incident.

Fast forward to last month, and Evans is back to her ill-advised motor vehicle-operating ways. She was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor drunk driving at a Los Angeles checkpoint on August 21. On the bright side though, no cocaine this time! Hooray!

3 Ice-T

Ice-T Arrested

Ice-T doesn’t have any sort of history of high-profile arrests, but his recent lock up in NYC is a good one. According to, the rapper and pretend detective was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt and subsequently arrested for driving on a suspended license.

Anyone who has ever driven without a license or insurance can attest to one simple rule that should always be followed: Wear a damn seat belt! Honestly, in the annals of victimless crimes, driving on a suspended license has to be way at the top of the list, but that doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to be arrested for it.

Wear a seat belt, don’t drive like a maniac, make sure you aren’t missing a taillight and you should be fine. Or, you know, he could have just had his wife, who was totally in the car at the time, do the driving. Just saying.

After the incident, the rapper had this to say via Twitter:

“Some punk bitch rookie cop made the arrest of his bullshit career today arresting the Notorious Ice T for no seatbelt.”

That’s gangsta! At the time of the incident, Ice was taking his dog to the vet to get knee surgery. That’s less gangsta!
2 Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Arrested

For Paris Hilton to ever be arrested doing anything is just unforgivable. With her cash, she should literally be helicoptering her way in and out of parties and whatnot. Why? Why are you driving? WHY? We get it, you can afford any car you want, that’s great, drive that shit when you aren’t Hoovering coke or pounding margaritas. Is that such a difficult concept to understand?

Apparently, it is, because Paris Hilton can’t seem to stop getting arrested while driving. In 2007 she was arrested for alcohol-related reckless driving and sentenced to 45 days in jail, a sentence she eventually whined and cried down to 23 days. In an interview with Larry King shortly after being released, the socialite claimed that the incident had caused her to reevaluate the role partying played in her life.

Looks like partying passed that evaluation with flying colors, because Hilton was arrested again last month after Las Vegas police noticed what they suspected was a cloud of marijuana smoke coming from her black SUV and arrested her for possession of cocaine.

That’s pretty dumb on her part, but seriously, doesn’t Vegas PD have bigger fish to fry than a cloud of marijuana smoke coming from an Escalade? If we had to guess, someone probably just wanted to arrest a celebrity. All the more reason to keep your drugs out of the car, wouldn’t you say?

1 Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Court Appearance

Ugh. Lindsay Lohan shouldn’t just stop driving, she should probably shy away from leaving the damn house for a few years. We know homeless meth addicts with gambling problems who get into less shit than Lindsay Lohan. OK, we don’t know anyone like that, but still, they probably exist and they probably cite Lindsay Lohan as proof that they haven’t hit rock bottom yet. They’d probably wear a bra to court also, which is exactly where LiLo is headed in the above picture.

Anyway, Lindsay Lohan’s multitude of arrests and rehab stints and charges are too numerous to document here, but don’t be surprised if more come down the pipe before she finally gets her shit together. Just a few days ago, only hours after getting her drivers license reinstated, she was stopped by Los Angeles police after blowing a stop sign in her Maserati. She wasn’t arrested this time. Police let her go with a warning, fortunately. But damn, get a driver already, Lohan. Do it for all of us.

**Update: Holy shit, Lindsay Lohan hit a baby.