2 Sharks Trapped in 1 Body

DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO TALK TO A SHARK? No you don’t. You know who does? TSJ’s intrepid reporter, Melissa Bull, does. Bull strapped on her wetsuit and dove deep underwater to interview the stars of  2-Headed Shark Attack, Gemini (and Gemini), the 2-headed shark. Gemini, or Gemi (pronounced “Jimmy”), though separate entities, share the same name. The twosome proved surprisingly affable.

The Smoking Jacket: Hi Gemi.

Gemini: Can you address us as two separate sharks?

TSJ: I thought I was?

Gemini: You were looking sort of left when you said hi.

TSJ: I’m sorry about that. So, when you—when the two of you were growing up, did the other sharks tease you because you were different?

Gemini: At first.

Gemini: Because we’re special.

Gemini: We’re twice the shark everyone else is.

Gemini: That’s what our momma taught us.

Gemini: After we hatched from our embryonic sac she told us.

Gemini: Of course we’re less water dynamic than single-headed sharks. But we have good peripheral vision.

Gemini: And we communicate telepathically.

TSJ: So Gemi—what’s Gemi thinking right now?

Gemini: Gemi’s stoked about getting interviewed for Playboy.

Gemini: It’s true.

Gemini: He’s thinking something else.

Gemini: Don’t tell her.

Gemini: But I can’t tell you what else he’s thinking.

TSJ: And listen, I respect that. So were you guys excited to be in a movie?

Gemini: We thought we’d be relegated to the freak industry, so it’s great to break into Hollywood.

Gemini: Yeah, it’s great. The industry’s cool.

Gemini: We really have to credit our agent for fighting for us so hard to get the role.

TSJ: Did you wish Carmen Electra had been cast as a veterinarian in 2-Headed Shark Attack?

Gemini: That would have been good.

Gemini: She’s sexy!

Gemini: She signed our dorsal fin with lipstick kisses.

Gemini: It washed out.

Gemini: We want her to use waterproof lipstick next time.

TSJ: Are you guys methody about acting?

Gemini: We’re pretty experienced with swimmers so it wasn’t a stretch.

TSJ: Speaking of which, everyone thinks sharks are mean and scary. But when it comes to cruelty, what’s the difference between nature and nurture?

Gemini: We were raised right. Like to respect the planet and stuff.

Gemini: I like to say a little grace before I kill a life.

Gemini: No he doesn’t.

Gemini: You don’t know what I’m thinking.

TSJ: I thought you said you were telepathic.

Gemini: Are you talking to one or both of us? I feel like you’re not treating us like individuals.

TSJ: I’m sorry.

Gemini: We’re only telepathic sometimes.

TSJ: So what’s a typical dinner night out for the two of you?

Gemini: I’m more of a plankton man, but Gemi here really likes chowing down baby seals.

Gemini: Sometimes we compromise.

Gemini: Like we’ll eat a baby seals with kelp on the side.

TSJ: Was it hard not to snack on the actors while you were shooting?

Gemini: Our agent made sure we could eat a few extras before every shoot.

TSJ: Any word on a sequel, say 3-Headed Shark Attack?

Gemini: Dude this isn’t a carny act.

Gemini: Acting is a craft.

Gemini: It’s a passion.

Gemini: Ladies dig it.

TSJ: So do you guys have a girlfriend?

Gemini: That’s another misconception. We don’t share women.

Gemini: We will neither confirm nor deny our involvement with Carmen Electra.

Gemini: You’re pretty.

TSJ: Thank you.

Gemini: Do you have a boyfriend?

TSJ: Can I just get both your brains on the interview?

Gemini: Okay.

Gemini: What.

TSJ: There’s some controversy about the fact that all the actors are running around in skimpy bathing suits throughout the film. How do you feel about all the semi-nudity in the movie?

Gemini: Pretty good about it.

Gemini: Less flossing.

 

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The Asylum has generously given us copies of 2-Headed Shark Attack on Blu-Ray and DVD! To win a copy, tweet your favorite Asylum Film to @playboydotcom with hash tag #CarmenBait.

Check out Playboy.com‘s interview with Carmen Electra here

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