Flying South for the Winter
When daylight saving time ended, your mom high-tailed it to your family’s winter home in Florida—and shed her clothes the second she got there.
Sailing Takes Me Away
That Christopher Cross song could well have been written for your mom, who cherished her trips to the pier—and so did we.
Deliver the Letter, the Sooner the Better
Living in a rural area meant your mom had to go to the end of the driveway to get the mail every morning. Oh what a way to start the day!
She Was Such a Scaredy Cat
Even though your family lived in a safe subdivision, your mom was still worried about burglars—which paid dividends for us one memorable night.
An Apple a Day Since Day One
Your mom was a Steve Jobs disciple from the beginning. She instilled that brand loyalty in you—and even better, your sister.
Autumn in the Great Outdoors
It didn’t have to be hot and humid for your mom to enjoy being in the fresh air—and to wear her most see-through outfits while she was out there.
ABC: Always Be Closing
Your mom took pride in her status as the top-selling realtor in the entire state. We finally figured out how she achieved that status.
From Here, You Can See Russia
Before everyone’s least favorite bespectacled harpie put Alaska back on the map, your mom spent a lot of time there. Scantily clad, of course.
The Original “Dog as Accessory” Girl
Before it became commonplace for celebrities to carry their canines around wherever they go, your mom did it to great effect.
Tennis (and Sundresses) Anyone?
The outfits your mom wore while watching the U.S. Open tennis tournament made Labor Day weekend even more pleasurable for your friends.
WTF Soccer Team Nicknames
Clockwork Orange? Socceroos? What’s up with that?
Enter Faceplant
Watch this Metallica fan thrash herself a little too hard.
Get on Your Bike and Ride
You can deny it all you want, but your mom was hot.
7
Ballin’ at the Bowling Alley
You can deny it all you want, but your mom was hot.
97
7 Signs That You’ve Given Up on Getting Laid
When you’re no longer interested in impressing the opposite sex, you’re done.
Nippert Hit in the Nugget
The Texas Rangers pitcher takes one to the dome in the “D.”
Can He Survive Without Hair Spray?
How will Jimmy Johnson maintain his ozone-destroying hairdo on a remote island in Nicaragua?
7
Comedian Owned by Heckler
When a heckler has better comedic timing than the comic, said comic is in deep doo-doo.
3
Mel Gibson: Next Steps
Believe it or not, all hope is not lost for the easily angered actor.
Relax, Lady. It’s Only Drew Carey
Perhaps this Price is Right model should switch to decaf before taping begins.
12
Your Mom Was Hot: Mother’s Day Edition
A holiday collection of the lovely ladies we’ve added to our universally adored series “Your Mom Was Hot” in 2011.
22
Jaime Edmondson in NFL Fashions for Women
You might want to think about baseball as you look at these pics of the former Miami Dolphins cheerleader suited up in the skimpiest NFL clothing ever.
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WTF Soccer Team Nicknames
Clockwork Orange? Socceroos? What’s up with that?
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7
Ballin’ at the Bowling Alley
You can deny it all you want, but your mom was hot.
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Get on Your Bike and Ride
You can deny it all you want, but your mom was hot.
Swimming with a MILF
Your pool was the most popular one on the block. Mostly because your mom didn’t resemble Kathy Bates like everyone else’s did.
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97
7 Signs That You’ve Given Up on Getting Laid
When you’re no longer interested in impressing the opposite sex, you’re done.
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Enter Faceplant
Watch this Metallica fan thrash herself a little too hard.
6
Chick Flicks With Dicks
With simple plot rewrites, we turn six female-focused films into total dude movies.
4
Ski Bunnies On the Prowl
Two cougars + too many hot toddies = fun for all (except your dad).
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97
7 Signs That You’ve Given Up on Getting Laid
When you’re no longer interested in impressing the opposite sex, you’re done.
35
Knocked Up News Anchor
Not literally. She was just talking about the movie. Riiiiiiiiiiight…..
32
Seven Annoying Statements You Hear From Every Waiter
This discourse should be immediately eliminated from restaurants everywhere, before hungry customers toss their collective cookies.
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22
Jaime Edmondson in NFL Fashions for Women
You might want to think about baseball as you look at these pics of the former Miami Dolphins cheerleader suited up in the skimpiest NFL clothing ever.
20
11 Effeminate Things About Football
These examples of less-than-Neanderthal behavior should be done away with before they completely destroy football’s façade of toughness.
16
Hollywood’s Most Hair-Raising Car Chases
All the adrenaline of a case of Four Loko—and they’re legal (to watch, anyway). Fasten your safety belt and floor it with nine of the best car chases in the history of cinema.
12
No Wearing White after Labor Day, but Until Then…
Your mom’s strict adherence to fashion guidelines is what made the end of summer a particularly hot time of year.
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12
Your Mom Was Hot: Mother’s Day Edition
A holiday collection of the lovely ladies we’ve added to our universally adored series “Your Mom Was Hot” in 2011.
11
“They Rapin’ E’rybody Out Heah”
Simply put, do not force yourself onto Antoine Dodson’s sister (or leave your T-shirt behind if you do).
10
Six Local NILFs You Need to Know
A few years ago, The Daily Show went on a NILF hunt through the 24-hour cable news networks. TSJ took the search to some local affiliates, and we like what we found.
